Jonathan: Hey, thanks for checking out the dad complex. I’m Jonathan Silva and today I have my friend Gabriel Reyes on, uh, he’s with Victory Homes. I’m super excited to talk with him, so I hope you enjoy it.
Gabriel, welcome to the dad complex.
Gabriel: The dad complex. That’s what it’s called?
Jonathan: Yes. So thanks for joining me and I really, I’m excited. We’ve been friends for a couple of years now. Yeah. And, um, I, I think we’ve both talked about like our first interaction and how it was pretty quick, like, oh, there’s a vibe.
Yeah, for sure. Like, and not in a weird way, but like, yeah, it’s hard I think, especially for me now, um, to make friends outside of work. Yeah. Yeah.
Gabriel: Or make deep connections. I feel like dad’s in general, that’s, that’s rather difficult in general for dads not to make friendships outside of work.
Jonathan: Yeah, for sure.
And so, something that I love about y’all, um, and, and first, I guess let’s point this out. Victory Homes. Yeah. You guys, um, build a boutique custom home builder. Yes. The way I would explain it. Yeah. I think, do you agree? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. and I mean, beautiful homes, uh, countless awards, um, tons of like engagement, interaction.
Throughout the country and probably the world, I’m sure on some of your designs and some of your like, details and stuff. I mean, just phenomenal work, hands down. I appreciate that. Thanks. Yeah, for sure. And we’ve gotten to work with you. Um, you were actually the first person I told that Tabul was happening.
Yeah. I remember. I think, and you were the first person that was like, well, let me know. I’m, I’m ready to go. Yeah. And it was awesome like to to know way before that even happened that we had people that were supporting us Yeah. Or like appreciated what we.
Gabriel: Yeah. Um, I remember, I mean, that was like maybe what, like two months after we first met each other.
And then, and then you’re like, Hey, we’re gonna try to start this thing. And I actually remember showing you and, uh, Kate a house and then. You’re like, Hey, let’s get on a conference call. This is like, y’all were super ground floor at that point. Yeah. And now look at you guys like
Jonathan: I know man. I think even like it took a few months to invoice you cuz we didn’t even have a bank account.
Gabriel: Yeah. like it was Yeah. Check’s still in the mail.
Jonathan: Yeah. Super ground floor. Um, so. beyond that, beyond who you are at work or whatever, um, your dad to three girls and a boy. Yep. Four kids. And something I want to point out is, this is probably the easiest interview I’ve ever had to prepare for cuz you and Alex are, um, really great at like staying connected with your audience and like with your people on socials.
So let me, this is what I found out, right? So your youngest Olivia is four? Yep. Emma is six. Yeah. Right. Okay. Mason. , also known as Ryker.
Gabriel: Yeah, Ryker’s, what I call him. Yeah. Okay. [00:03:00]
Jonathan: Uh, he just turned 10. Yep. Right. Okay. And then Natalia is around 12, which is like my
Gabriel: nightmare. Natalia is actually 13.
Jonathan: 13. Yeah. Okay.
So I was around. Yeah. Close though. Yeah. Yeah. And then you’ve been with Alex for
Gabriel: 13? Yeah. So we’ve been married for 13 years. Um, met each other in 2006. However many years that
Jonathan: is. Yeah. And you and Alex both work, um, actively within Victory. And Alex also is a, got a, recently got a real estate license. Yes.
And I say recently, it’s probably been a couple years.
Gabriel: Well, no, no, no. It’s been recent. She got it in April, I believe, of this year. Yeah. So she’s always been, um, very supportive, obviously. And she’s, she’s helped. Over the years and a ton of different roles for the business. And, and this year with sending all of our kids to school, she decided that she was [00:04:00] gonna get a real estate license.
And so yeah, she’s enjoyed that. Um, it’s very flexible, helps her with our family and it’s great for our family, you know, business model, family model, all the things. So yeah, it just makes sense.
Jonathan: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. How did you and Alex meet?
Gabriel: Uh, okay. Um, so me and Alex actually. At SPC in Loveland, at the Loveland campus.
So it was, uh, it’s kind of a funny story. So I was, um, it was my first day of school, Alex’s last semester at spc. Um, I have always been a procrastinator by nature and so, uh, Enrolled for school. The day that it started got ended up, ended up having to be in yoga of all things. Cause I wanted to be a coach.
Yeah. And so, um, uh, the, the financial advisor lady was like, Hey, you can either be in water aerobics, which is full, full of old people, or [00:05:00] you mean yoga? And I was like, put me in for yoga. And so actually walked into the room, um, saw Alex, she was. Five girls in all belong a table. I’ve always been extremely extroverted.
And so, um, nobody was talking kind of just that awkward first day of school vibes. Yeah. And so I kind of just said, well, hey, let’s just go around and introduce all of ourselves. And so I started, said Gabriel Reyes, where I’m from, and then really just got to Alex. And after Alex told me who she was and where she was from, I kind of just spaced out, didn’t care what anybody else said,
And so, Ended up going home that weekend, um, to Littlefield. I lived in Lubbock at the time and uh, my mom was like, how, how was your first week of school or whatever. And I remember looking her straight in the eye, and she’ll tell you this to this day. I said, man, I don’t care about any school. But I met my wife and her name’s Alex.
She’s from post [00:06:00] Texas. And um, and yeah. So then a few years later we date. And military stuff. And then we ended up getting married and all that jazz. So yeah, that’s how I met her was in yoga class at Levelland, Texas. So, and
Jonathan: South Plains coming through. That’s right. Yeah. . Heck yeah. So, um, speaking of like your military background, you were in the Army mm-hmm.
um, which I believe was pretty soon after y’all met, right? Is when you enlisted?
Gabriel: Yeah. So I wanted to join the military right outta high school. , my mom and dad portion of my story is that my mom and dad didn’t graduate from high school. Mm-hmm. . And so, uh, we grew up in a low to mid socioeconomic household.
Um, I, school always came easy to me and so, um, I wanted to go to the military right outta high school. Had a couple of buddies sign up for the military. My mom wanted a college boy, so that’s really the only reason I even signed up for spc. Yeah. Um, you know, kind of did the freshman. My freshman year, didn’t read too [00:07:00] many books, drank a lot of beer, and then, uh, ended up joining the military because I kind of wanted something better for myself.
So, ended up joining the military in October of, uh, 2006 and, uh, served six years in the US Army. Um, did a 16 month combat tour in Afghanistan and all that stuff. So yeah, so actually met Alex before I signed up in the military. And then, um, we date. Essentially my entire tenure. Yeah. In the military. Yeah.
Jonathan: And so Veteran’s Day was a few. Days or weeks ago at the time of, as of today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When we’re recording this and um, we saw, or I saw Alex Post about, um, your first Veteran’s Day. Yeah. Home, yeah. In Natalia’s with you. She’s tiny. Yeah. And uh, honestly, it made me feel something due to like, I, I. I, I don’t wanna say I teared up, but it was like I’m about to tear up.
Yeah. I’m just reading it like, man. And I remember that [00:08:00] the, like, so I, I was working on the railroad when we had Penelope and Darren, and I remember thinking how many things I missed out on. Yeah. Or like, you know, the birthdays, the, the Easters the worrying about like, am I gonna be home on Thanksgiving?
And it’s nowhere near, like, that’s not even close to what it’s like being overseas or being enlisted and not. Uh, I, at least worst case scenario, 12 hours, I could get on the phone and call them. Sure. For you, I know it was probably. I mean it totally different. Yeah. And so like, I I, it, I don’t wanna say it broke my heart because it’s, that’s, you did what you did for your family and you made the changes for your family and like all of that, just kind of the adventure, like the ride to get sure to where you are here.
But it, it was like, oh man, I know what that, I have an idea of what that feeling is like. Yeah. So what has that, what has your career path or like what did the Army and that career there, how did that affect your, like how you parent today or [00:09:00] how who you are as a person, um, in
Gabriel: your marriage? Um, so I would say that, uh, so it is, it is, so Veterans Day is a, Uh, hard holiday typically for me, um, just in general, um, which I appreciate when everybody tells us.
Thank you for your service and, and those things in general. For me, my personal story, um, while I was in country, um, we ended up losing, we went on a mission and at Bluen, um, a total of, uh, eight Ks and it, all those happened between November. And November 16th. Um, and so couple that with just, uh, various, uh, experiences that we’ve had since we’ve been back of, you know, guys, you know, um, uh, committing suicide and things like that.
It’s always just been, it’s kind [00:10:00] of a reminder, right? Mm-hmm. . Um, but you know, I always tell everybody that I walk into, or whenever people tell me like, you know, Hey man, it looks like you’re having a bad day, or whatever, right? . Um, I guess a portion of my story is that I tell people, man, I’m blessed enough to have been in situations where I’ve almost died.
Mm-hmm. . And so, um, no matter, I mean, I still have hard days like everybody else. I still get anxious, I still get stressed out. I still, you know, um, just have days where I’m like, man, I just, this is just too much. But in doing so, kind of what I do is I always go home. Um, I’m able to tell everybody I was blessed enough to almost die.
And so that gives me a very unique perspective of life. And so, mm-hmm. , um, you know, I’ll tell friends and stuff, man, you know, at least nobody tried to kill me today, you know, and so, yeah. [00:11:00] Um, when you have that perspective, I mean, and yeah, stuff can go wrong, but at the end of the day, as long as God gives us another day to wake, We can always make something right?
Right. Yeah. Like you might mess up on an account, but at the end of the day, nobody’s gonna die because of the decision that you didn’t or did make. You know? And so when you, it’s a, it’s kind of a morbid way of looking at it, I guess. Um, a lot of people that have seen combat or were in the military, , they’ll probably be able to, in some way agree with that.
Um, for civilians, a lot of people look at it like a very morbid way of, of seeing life. But, um, for me it’s just a constant reminder of what I did miss. Um, whenever you saw that picture. So I left when Netha was, was two months old. Mm-hmm. , she was, she was born, I was there for two months and then I got back.
Two weeks after her second birthday. Geez. And so for [00:12:00] that entire time I was on, I came back for leave. We got a two week leave and I came back for leave. And, um, me and Alex for, for our marriage and putting our marriage first, we actually went to Mexico for four days outta that leave. Mm-hmm. for almost two years.
I was physically around the, for the first two years of her life, I was physically around her. Mm, maybe two and a half months. And so, um, so yeah, I mean, it’s, it, it does hit home for us. Um, we do have, I do have a very unique perspective on it, but I think it’s a perspective that, you know, people can look at it as a curse or a blessing.
And so I just choose to look at it as a blessing instead of a curse. So, yeah.
Jonathan: Well, you know, and so something I, I want to say too is for one, thank you for your service. And, you know, it’s hard because I, I don’t think that many people have that opportunity to, to genuinely sit down with a veteran unless they’re close to them.
Yeah. And even when they are [00:13:00] close to them, they don’t have that kind of relationship where they can be open and look each other in the eye and just say, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. You know, because it’s a. . It’s pretty deep. And I don’t think a lot of, for one, men don’t want to get that deep or can get that deep.
Yeah. But then two, just to have that opportunity where every, there isn’t like a ton of things going on. Yeah. But I mean, my dad was in the service. Um, he went to Desert Storm and he, he, he doesn’t talk about it. Yeah, he doesn’t talk about it at all. Like, he talks about his one friend who’s a marathon. And so he did the Marines marathon and did all kinds of stuff and has trophies, and to me, like that’s the extent of what I know about his military career.
Yeah, because he doesn’t, he doesn’t talk. He did it because his family was super poor. And he would send his money back so that his sisters could go to school. Yeah. Uh, to university. And they’re all nurses now.
Gabriel: And so like, he made a sacrifice not only for the country, but you know, he did it for the betterment of his family,
Jonathan: you know?
[00:14:00] Mm-hmm. . Yeah. But I have no clue like anything else about like the, the, the hardships of
Gabriel: it. And well see. And that’s the thing that I don’t want for my son. Um, so like Ryker, um, is very, Uh, as he’s got older, like we mentioned, he’s 10. And so the one thing that I don’t want for Ryker or Mason is, um, as he’s gotten older, he’s taken a lot more, he’s, he’s like becoming a man, you know?
And yeah. And as a portion of that, he’s got this, uh, he’s, he’s the only boy out of three girl, out of four kids, you know, he’s got three sisters, and so he’s. In the past has not been overtly masculine. Right? Right. And so you rate, you grow up with three daughters or three sisters, and you’re gonna, you’re gonna be surrounded by Barbie’s and pink and purple and this, that and the other.
And so as he’s gotten older, um, he’s asked me, um, probably more so than any other kid that I have, even Natalia doesn’t really [00:15:00] ask me too much about it. Um, but Mason, I mean, randomly will say, well, what did you do whenever you did this in the army? Or, or, mm-hmm. , have you ever done this? You know, or have you ever done that?
Or, what was this like? And so, um, the approach that I’ve taken is that, um, kind of honesty is the best policy within, within his age, you know, obviously. Right. But he’s asked me before about what it was like being deployed and what it was like being gone from mom and, and his sister. and um, he knows that I’ve had, you know, buddies that have died and and things like that.
And, and so when he asks me about it, you know, and not to say that your dad did anything wrong, I just try to be as open with him as possible. Cuz I do feel like, especially in yeah, not just the military culture, but just men in general, but like, you know, the Hispanic culture mm-hmm. . Yeah. Like my, my dad is, Is obviously a [00:16:00] Hispanic heritage.
And so I feel like in our culture specifically, um, there’s a huge machismo of, you know, you don’t talk about your feelings and you don’t say how you feel and you don’t say, I love you, and you don’t say, I’m proud of you, and you don’t say what you’re feeling. And so we are, as I am trying to break that generational curse with him and with me, of just being overly transparent and telling him, I love you.
Here’s what this is. So when he asks me a question about the military, I’ll say, Hey, this is, this is what we were, this is what happened. This is what we’re doing. And I think, uh, there’s a, uh, the other day there’s a picture, um, that I’m holding a picture of net and Alex, and we were like, it was, uh, the seventh day of a 10 day op in the.
And our, uh, food loads weren’t landing correctly. And so it was a really, really dire situation. And I think [00:17:00] if you look at that picture, I’m like, 184 pounds in the picture. Mm-hmm. and I’m typically 200 pounds. Yeah. And so, um, he was like, man, dad, you look like, and there’s like, I mean, we’d been firing our weapons and we’d been doing all these things and there’s just grime all over our face.
And it’s, it’s a very. Band of Brothers esque picture, and he was just like, you know, what were you doing? And I was just like, man, we were, you know, we’re just in the mountains and this is what we were doing and this is what we were supposed to be doing. And, and he just gets blown away by that stuff. So, yeah, for us, we just, we’re trying to be as honest as we can.
You know, it might be the wrong thing, but, you know, only time will tell type of deal. Yeah.
Jonathan: That’s kind of, that’s the same approach we’ve taken with our kids, is just been super flat out and honest. You know, we. Um, Penny’s getting to the point now. She’s really good at Math. Yeah. Um, she struggles with school in general.
Like she’s, she’s been diagnosed with a D A D D and um, [00:18:00] dyslexia and she’s overcoming and I mean, she aside cuz I’m really proud. She just got honor roll for the first time, man. Hey, there you go. It’s like, I’m super proud of her and Kate and I both struggled with school, um, with like the traditional like format of school and.
anyway, so we’ve always like tried to be honest with them. Yeah. So whenever she does the math, like, wait, if I’m eight and you guys have been together for this long and you got married here, that means you were pregnant before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were married. And, um, so our story, right? Kate and I met when I first, Kate was actually the first like girl that I met, like introduced myself when I moved to Lubbock or when I moved to Levelland, to South Plains.
And, um, I knew from that day, like I was just, same thing. It’s like that thing, you know, south Plains is the spot. I know . Um, so we met at a mutual friend’s house. We’re working on a, on a video project. Um, but anyway, so fast forward [00:19:00] to like, October, September, 2013. Um, I had been traveling with like music, with bands and stuff and, um, some really good friends and I.
kid. And I had been dating for a while and I realized on this tour, um, I was in the back of the van and I was like, man, I don’t want to be here anymore. Yeah. Like I’m in the middle of, it was awesome. I was, you know, I didn’t really have to pay for anything. I didn’t make any money, but I’d have to pay for anything.
And I was seeing the country and I was with really good friends. Um, but I was like, man, I’d rather be home. I’d rather be with Kate right now. This isn’t like for me anymore. Um, and so I got back that summer. And then in September I proposed to her. And then October 31st we found out we were pregnant. . Nice.
Yeah. So that, that’s been our, uh, that’s been our life. Um, and you just gotta grow up really, really quick. Yeah, absolutely. But back to like, the honesty thing is, [00:20:00] is this, this point of needing to be honest and being open and, you know, I let the, I, there was a time where Kate was like, you need, you should probably think about.
Tapping into your feelings in front of the girls so that they can see that. Yeah. You know, so they can experience that. Both of, both of our parents are, are not very emotional. Yeah. Outwardly emotional people. Um, and so like being able to do that and letting ’em know that it’s okay to have feelings, it’s okay to like talk about them outwardly and understand what it is, is to me, to us it’s been really important and really exciting to see their like personalities grow.
See them grow
Gabriel: emotionally as well. Yeah, absolutely. Well, and I feel like, you know, that’s the important thing of, um, you know, like the women that we marry, right? Like, uh, my faith, I’m pretty grounded in my faith, just in general. Mm-hmm. just kind of always have been, and, and I feel like, like even with you and Kate, right?
Like to [00:21:00] have a woman in your life. That you love, be able to tell you like, Hey, um, I think you need to do this so that it benefits our daughters, you know? Yeah. It’s kind of interesting thing being a girl dad. Um, I tell Alex pretty regularly, like trying to raise Mason to be a better husband than I am and to, and to the way that I treat Alex is gonna be the way that Mason.
Eventually treats his wife. Mm-hmm. and, uh, and for daughters specifically, like, I feel like girl dads have that burden. Not a burden, but that, uh, responsibility even more so, right? Because you opening up about your feelings and, and how you communicate that with Kate or with your daughters, you know, that’s opening up a healthy pattern so that when your daughters do start dating, they’re gonna be able to see, oh, well this is the way that a.
It’s supposed to [00:22:00] act, right? Mm-hmm. , like I shouldn’t have to tippy-toe around his emotions or his feelings, you know? And so, and I feel like, and, and we, you know, same. I try to do that with all of our daughters, especially Netha. And now that she’s 13, you know, um, you’re, she’s getting into that pre pr, you know, I guess now she’s a teenager.
I used to say she’s a preteen, , but, um, now she’s a teenager and so all the things are happening and you’re just. Hoping that you’ll set the rhetoric that she uses to, you know, establish whoever she’s looking for in a significant other, so, right. Well, and it’s the,
Jonathan: yeah, the expectations of like, here’s what you need to expect from your future has been That’s right.
From your future wife or, um, anything like that. And I, I love that. Um, there’s people like, it gives me hope for sure. for who my kid is gonna marry, knowing that there’s [00:23:00] other dads and other moms that think about that stuff. Yeah, absolutely. You know? Yeah. Cause it, it scares me, man. Like, I don’t know.
Gabriel: Oh, it’s the worst you think about.
Yeah. It’s a, it’s a, a really bad thought thinking about who’s going to, um, marry your daughter or, you know, vice versa. Even your son, you know, like Right. . Yeah, I think, I think that’s really, really healthy for you and Kate and for Kate to be able to tell you, Hey John, you need to, you need to open up to your girls.
And I think it’s powerful, dude. I mean, I really do. Um, that girl that your girls can see, Hey, this is how I’m feeling and you don’t. You know, cuz again, nothing against your dad, but you’re allowing them to see who you are as a person. Right. That you can’t carry everything and honestly, you’re not supposed to.
Right. Like that’s why you have a molecular family. That’s why you and Kate are bound in marriage to carry these things together. Yeah. So for
Jonathan: sure. Um, [00:24:00] what type of home were you and Alex raised in?
Gabriel: Oh. Um, so, man, I don’t know how deep you want to get here. Uh, So my dad, um, and he, he would tell you this to his, to this day, and it’s nothing negative against him.
It’s just, it’s just his, his curse and, and you know, his, his walk. Um, my dad was an alcoholic growing up. Um, I, I mean, he would probably tell you he still is to this day. Um, both my parents didn’t graduate from high school. They both grew up in Littlefield where I was raised. My dad, um, went to. Or he worked at the cotton plant there in Littlefield my entire life, basically, until it shut down.
Is that the Levi’s plant? Yeah. Yeah. American Congos. Yeah. And um, it’s now the dairy. Mm-hmm. . And so, uh, yeah, he worked there all his whole life. Um, Littlefield is, you’re kind of just textbook novel, [00:25:00] small town, you know, whether it’s a steel mill, a grainery, you know, cotton plant. Everybody typically gravitates towards that thing.
And that’s what is the heartbeat of the town. Right. And that’s the way it was with me growing up. Um, so my dad worked shift work. He was a seven to seven worker, um, seven to three, you know, depending on the year. And, um, pretty much just your, you know, I don’t know how else to say it, and I don’t mean it in a negative way, but just your typical small town, Hispanic household.
they worked to work and they worked for the weekends. And on the weekends we barbecued and we, you know, or they drank Bud Light and, you know, and we just lived life. Um, my mom has been a janitor for probably over 20 years. Um, and, and so for Alex, so for me growing up, um, seeing. [00:26:00] I very much followed in the footsteps, all my, all my high school career.
And whenever I joined the military, it was because of that. I didn’t want, um, I just wanted something better. Mm-hmm. , I can’t say what I did or didn’t want. I just wanted something better for my life and I knew that the military was going to cut all that off. So I just kind, I was kind of at a situation where I just needed to cut it off.
Yeah. At the source. And so, and Alex was, Alex is probably, Like she’s my absolute favorite person. And so her dad came over, he was originally born in Renoso, Mexico. Um, came over when he was 17. Alex is a first generation American. Her dad, her mom grew up in Post they met, loved each other, did all the things.
Um, but her dad was also a very traditional Mexican father. And so, um, she was, she is like the smartest person I know. and she just never, Alex [00:27:00] has never done, never not done anything exceptionally. Yeah. And so I think a lot of that came from being the oldest and having a traditional Mexican dad and knowing the sacrifices that he made and basically just wanting to be the absolute best at everything that she did.
Um, so yeah, I mean that’s, that’s kind of where we grew up and, and, um, our very first house. Was right here in Commanders Palace. Man, I took her home. Yeah, yeah. I took her home to Commanders Palace Trailer Park and, uh, , our gated community rather. We were pretty proud of that. Yeah. And um, and you know, that’s where we started all our lives together.
Had holes on the floor, had foil on the windows and Damn. Yeah, the half, the half the house didn’t get hot or cold cuz the AC was broken. But yeah, we made it work. Man.
Jonathan: That’s so, I mean, you know, it’s cool. Relatively .
Gabriel: Yeah. Relatively now. Yeah,
Jonathan: absolutely. And, um, [00:28:00] I know, sorry, so Alex’s father passed recently.
Yeah. And how has that affected y’all, um, in your marriage and like how you see your, your family now?
Gabriel: Um, so. , man, that’s tough. That’s a tough question. Uh, so Alex’s dad, yeah, so he’s, he’s been gone for a year and it feels like it was yesterday. But, uh, um,
so me and my father don’t have, I mean, we have a good relationship now. We don’t, me and my father’s relationship is a very non-traditional father-son relationship. Mm-hmm. , um, . And so when Alex’s dad passed, um, [00:29:00] it, it was almost like, I mean, it was very hard for her. And it was, he was just, he was always the guy who was, uh, he was serious, but he was always joking, which is really weird to say.
It’s kind of a conundrum. Um, He just always knew how to make you laugh or even the things that he would say would just make you laugh. And so it has definitely changed our family dynamic, um, primarily because, you know, we have kids, so like Natalia and Mason, they knew Alex’s dad and they were old enough to understand what happened and, and you know, Natalia will forever and.
Have fond memories of her papa. And same for Mason. Um, Emma, my six year old is, is, was on that cusp of, you know, when you’re five, you know, I feel like you really only remember things from when you’re like maybe three, right? Mm-hmm. . And so she remembers him, um, pretty [00:30:00] fondly. What’s wild? Probably the most wild thing for us, and me and Alex, like we actually, this happened yesterday, is.
we were eating dinner. We always try to make it a point to eat dinner as a family. And my four year old Olivia, so she was three at the time when my father-in-law passed. And um, I said, Hey Olivia, how was your day? And she says, well, I was crying today. And I was like, oh my gosh, you know, something happened.
And um, Alex says, no, miss Soandso text me and said that Olivia was on the playground today, just bawling and. I was like, well, you know, did somebody hit her? What’s going on? And she goes, no. She just said that when they asked her, she just said that she misses her paw paw so much, and that’s what they called Alex’s dad.
And so I just looked at Alex and I was like, you know, and so it’s, it’s just this very weird thing that has that happened to us. And I know it happens to a ton of people, [00:31:00] but like for our, our four year old daughter, like kind of just kicked us straight in the teeth again yesterday. . I was like, what do you mean you Miss Papa?
And she was like, I just miss him so much. And, and so apparently she cried. She had events of crying all day yesterday. Yeah. And um, geez. And just randomly, like, there wasn’t anything that could have reminded her or anything like that. And, and you know, Alex is just like, . Well, you know, and even Olivia, she’s like, Papa’s with Jesus, you know?
She goes, but I want papa here. You know? And so yeah, it’s just things like that, um, that have been really tough. Uh, obviously Alex being the oldest in a Hispanic family, her, everybody mostly looks to her mm-hmm. to kind of help make the decisions now of where do we have Thanksgiving and where’s Christmas?
And who’s checking? my suegra or her, you know, her mom. Right. So, yeah, man, it’s been, it’s been really tough. Um,
Jonathan: you know, every [00:32:00] time that I talk to, like new dads or like talking to someone who’s think about having kids, I always tell ’em, like, as parents, the secret is is that no one knows what the hell’s going on.
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Like everything is just a constant. Learning because even, even from kid to kid, even at like, you know, we have a, an eight year old and a six year old. So even those experiences that we had when Penny was five or younger, you know, and, and now going through them with Daryn they’re completely different and I have no clue how to, cuz they’re different personalities.
Yeah, for sure. You know, so you really don’t know anything. Um, but it, it is very, very different whenever you’re also trying to process. Oh yeah. Emotions like that. Like I don’t even know how, cuz you can’t process yourself before you help your kids. Like you always help your kids process first. It’s like that airplane thing, you know when they say like, don’t put your mask on first before your kids.
Yeah. Like, I would love to, to meet the person that wouldn’t. Put their, the [00:33:00] mask on the kid first. Oh yeah. Like it’s not gonna happen. Like, I know they have to say that, but it’s not realistic. Yeah.
Gabriel: I mean, even if it’s not like there, I think there’s some ancestral thing, like even if it’s not my kid, right?
Right. Like if there’s a kid next to me, just you having kids, there’s gonna be something inside of you that obviously wants to take care of the kid first. Right. You know,
Jonathan: there’s like some sort of. Connection there. Yeah,
Gabriel: absolutely. I
Jonathan: totally agree with that. So, moving on, what was it like, and I, I, I know that you got to do this before, um, things like changed within your, your family unit, but what, what was it like when you got to.
what was that moment when you were successful or like Victory Homes was successful? Cause I know you guys were already successful with Artistry. Yeah. So you’d kind of already gone through that with, with your brother and like your family there. But what was it like now, like, victory is, is yours and Alex’s like business and, and your, your business baby there.
Like what was it like [00:34:00] telling your, your parents and your family. or when, I guess when it all clicked to everybody, like, oh, this is very successful.
Gabriel: Um,
that’s an, that’s kind of an interesting question. So, like, for us, man, I mean, I don’t know. I mean, I, I have people come up to us all the time that are like, oh man, you know, we’re so proud of you and so glad, so happy to see everything that you’re doing. And I think that that’s great. Um, for us, me and Alex.
Just feel like we’re still me and Alex, right? Yeah. And so even in the business standpoint, like I don’t know that there’s ever been a click thing on us that it’s like we’ve made it, right? Mm-hmm. , I, uh, I was listening to this other podcast cause that’s what I do when I’m driving on the road all the time.
And, and the guy was like, man, you know, whenever I made this first X amount of dollars, I figure. There would be something in innately inside of me [00:35:00] that was like, boom, you’ve made it. Yeah. And he was like, that doesn’t, he goes, you know, the only thing that changed was the number in your bank account. He was like, you know, and mm-hmm.
And he went on to say that he believed, and I, and I, I mean, he said it, he said it the best way that I can, that I think is like he went on and say, he was like, if success or some, some, some form of success or some definition of success defines who you are innately or who your character is, then that success is never gonna be yours anyway.
Mm-hmm. . And so, um, and I think that’s the way that it is for us. Like we, we strive every day and I wake up and go to sleep every night. do I have, do I have restless nights? Sure. But for the most part, man, I sleep decently and, and we’re not perfect. I mean, I, I feel like I upset [00:36:00] people daily, right? Like you said it, like I’m a boutique custom home builder, and with that, uh, I have to be everywhere.
At once, you know? Right. And, but I always tell people, like, people wouldn’t build with us if I was just building one house a year, right? Mm-hmm. . And so, um, so for us, our success isn’t defined by what we’ve attained in our business. Our success for me is defined by the quality of life that I’ve be been able to create.
From my family and my children and for others, you know, the people that work for us, right? Yeah. Um, the employees that we have. And so, I don’t know, I mean, we haven’t had that aha moment of like, oh man, we’ve made it. You know, I, I feel like we are reminded daily of how blessed we are, and we also forget daily of how blessed we are.
Like even you, right? Like if you want to go pick up your girls, , [00:37:00] you can go pick up your girls, right? Yeah. Like you’ll probably need to move some things around, but for the most part you can do that. And so for me it’s like I have the ability to do that. I have the ability to go on a three day weekend if I really need to.
Yeah. You know, and, and so success for me, I guess, was most defined whenever I hit the spot where we weren. Fighting. We weren’t paying bills weekly. Yeah. It was like, Hey, we’re comfortable. And so that’s probably the most aha moment that I’ve ever had of like, Hey, you’re not living paycheck to paycheck. Hey, we bought, you know?
Mm-hmm. , I guess I’ll say it this way. Here’s a so sorry. Super long way of getting there. Right? I’ll say it this way. So my determination of success, I didn’t grow up with a garage. Hmm. [00:38:00] Everybody that was in my mind, everybody that was rich in Littlefield, Texas grew up with the garage door. I didn’t grow up with one.
So my aha moment, if I ever had to have one, was one day Alex walked in and we lived in a small house in Wolforth, Texas on McMillan Avenue, and I was just turning, I was closing the garage. I’d wait for it to close. I. and I did that probably for five minutes. And she’s like, what are you doing? And I said, everybody that grew up in Littlefield, Texas that had a garage, they like made it.
And so like in my adolescent mind, yeah, that was success. Yeah. And so we moved in from the trailer house in Commanders Palace, we moved into McMillan Avenue, had a garage and it was like a 1400 square foot house. And I remember just thinking, this is it. Yeah. Like nobody can ever look back down on Gabriel Reyes and.
He didn’t make it. You know what I mean? And so that, that’s my determination of success is having a [00:39:00] garage door, I guess.
Jonathan: Yo, but how many garage doors do you own right now? Yeah, that’s right. Cause you’ve got how many
Gabriel: spec? Like, so we’ve got, um, so projects currently on the ground, we usually average 12 to 18.
Obviously the housing market’s doing what it’s doing. Yeah. Um, so we’ve got a few specs on the ground. Yeah. Now, now I’ve got more garage doors than I, than I cared to have probably .
Jonathan: That’s so funny, man. That’s interesting though. And you know, um, for me, and I, I think, I know you’re the exact same way where, um, our, our parents worked into the ground.
To provide us an opportunity. Yeah, absolutely. Right. And so for us, our aha moment was when same thing, like when we weren’t living paycheck to paycheck anymore, and it’s like, oh, now we have an opportunity to save for that car when they turn 16. Oh yeah. But now we have the opportunity to save for college.
Like, [00:40:00] cuz we have those, we’re in that financial situation that we can actually save money and not lose money or, you know, we’re, we’re netting something now. Yeah. And that was our aha moment,
Gabriel: you know, and you’re able to, you know, like, I mean, I’ll use, I use the word pretty regularly, but like, you’re building a legacy, you and cater, building a legacy for your daughters, you know, and, and like you said, investing in college or investing in a house.
I think me and you’ve talked about before, , there’s no better time if you’re able to buy a house than today. And that will always, you could say that every single day for the rest of your life. Right? And that’ll happen. And so like I know we talked about investing in our children’s future, and I mean, when we talked about what the houses that you and I are purchasing today, what that’s gonna amount to when our children are 18 or 22 years old is gonna be crazy, right?
Yeah. Like. I mean, my parents weren’t in a situation to ever do this, but I look back on 10 [00:41:00] years ago and I look back on what I purchased our McMillan house for and what it’s worth today, like I could go back and look at what that house is worth today, and I could almost guarantee you that it’s worth $150,000 more 10 years, like just 10 years apart than what it was whenever I first.
Oh, I know. You know, and so it’s just crazy when you think about that. When Kate and I
Jonathan: moved from our first house, um, and we, we moved, Kate bought a house. Kate was a sugar mama first for little, that’s Uhhuh, but, but Kate bought a house. It was 113,000. And then on, on Frankford and then across the street we’re the nicer homes in Fountain Hills.
So we, we moved from that house, moved to a really nice neighborhood, also probably kinda like a bucket list neighborhood, but we had like the cheapest house on the block, you know? Yeah, you did. Right. And then now we moved to the, to. To that nice neighborhood and, and we always look back like, dang, we should have kept that house.
Cause it’s worth like a hundred grand more than what it was like, and [00:42:00] mortgage was so ni like 900 bucks. Like that was the life man. Oh
Gabriel: dude. I think me and Alex, I tell her all the time, like, we look at it all the time and I’m like, dude, just take me back to Commander’s Palace. Yeah. And no, knock on any, if, if for some reason you’re listening to this and live in Commander Palace.
great community. Like I’ll actually absolutely love it. Not to knock it, uh, but I joke with her all the time. I’m like, dude, go back. I think me and Alex’s like our monthly house and lot, bill was like 550 bucks. Yeah, that’s crazy. And we, yeah, so like, and no taxes, no nothing. So we’re just like, dude, we should just go back.
And live the minimalist lifestyle. And I know, do do that thing, man. I, yeah. Don’t threaten me with a good time, .
Jonathan: Yeah. It’s funny. Well, okay. Um, real quick question. Do y’all speak Spanish at home?
Gabriel: No. I wish, I know. Me too. Yeah. Alex is, um, very [00:43:00] fluent in Spanish. It was her first language. Mm-hmm. . It was my first language as well.
Didn’t, didn’t speak it after I started. Alex’s dad, obviously being a Mexican, uh, national, you know, that came over. Uh, she is extremely fluent. I wish she would speak it. Um, but you know, she, she doesn’t, I understand it very well, or mostly well, depending on who I’m talking to. Um, I’m not great at speaking it anymore because my mind doesn’t.
conjugates. Very,
Jonathan: yeah. We’re trying to do a better job and, and this is a total excuse, but we, because Kate doesn’t speak Spanish, I always say, well, it’s hard to speak in Spanish to my kids because there’s no one to converse. Like there’s no
Gabriel: natural way of just, yeah. There’s no feedback coming. Yeah. You
Jonathan: just have to say it, you know, and it’s weird, but we’ve been actively trying to do better and.
Gabriel: Oh man, I think it’s super important. Our son was in a dual language [00:44:00] program at Cooper for the first two years while he was in school, and we loved it. Um, it’s something, I mean, it’s, it’s something that we almost revisit every so often. Yeah. But it’s like, like you said, it’s just an excuse, like it’s easier to speak to our kids.
And I know for a simple fact, net. Like one, she’s got a Spanish name, right. Uhhuh, like in Natalia, it’s not Natalie, it’s Nalia. And so, yeah. Um, she’s our traveler. Like she’s gonna, you know, she, when she turns 18, I have very little doubt or I wouldn’t be surprised if she decides that she’s gonna go backpack Europe or whatever.
Yeah. You know? And so, um, I wish it was a skill that we would be teaching them now, cuz I know when she’s 18, 19, 20 years old, she’s just gonna be like, ticked at us. Incorporating that in our lifestyle. It,
Jonathan: it, it’s always like that. I think like kids are always mad at their, like, they should have taught me.
Gabriel: Yeah, yeah, yeah. They’ve gotta be mad at us for something, right? Yeah. That, yeah.
Jonathan: [00:45:00] It’s a, it’s a good, good excuse to be mad. Yeah. Um, so all of this to say, right, you’re obviously in a totally different position than your parents were when they were raising you. How do you instill or how are you instilling, like hard work ethic in your kids?
Gabriel: Um, so for us, so I don’t know that they will, I don’t know that you, I don’t know that you can do it to the extent that I was given. So my parents didn’t give us much. But I will say they gave us, they gave us a hard work ethic. So I hold cotton in the fields starting at nine years. Wow. And like I’m talking about waking up at six in the morning and getting done at six in the evening during the summer.
And so, um, for us, you know, I mean, and I’m, like I said, I’m a fairly transparent person. Like, I look at my kids and there’s a lot of times where, you know, same thing for [00:46:00] my dad. Like my dad used to call me ungrateful growing up, you know, and he didn’t, you know, and I didn’t have as heart of a life as he did, you know?
Right. And so, um, same thing with my kids. Like I’ll look at my kids, I’m like, dude, y’all don’t know how easy you got it, right? Mm-hmm. , like, you know, just, if I ask you to go throw the trash, don’t gimme faces about it, just go do it. You know? Right. But for us, we try to, we try to just tell them, Hey, For us, the currency in our household is respect.
And so if they respect us and they do what we ask, then that’s the currency of our household as far as chores are concerned. We’re in a position where our kids really don’t lack anything in their life, and so having to constantly remind them, Hey, you have it very well. And also, you know, like net has gotten into.
Age where she can babysit. Mm-hmm. . And so what we’ve started doing is starting to have these conversations of [00:47:00] like, okay, well you do this. And so like, obviously me as an entrepreneur and having that mindset saying, Hey, what we’re trying to instill, or what I’m trying to instill in our kids right now is like, time is your absolute most sacred commodity, right?
Like our time is an exchange for whatever it is that we’re either getting reimbursed. paid for. And so I’m trying to instill that in Netha and Mason at an early age so that they don’t be lackadaisical with their time. So like Natalia for instance, she’s 13, she gets paid $12 an hour when she goes to babysit, you know?
And we tell her, Hey, you don’t need to buy anything, so keep this. So I’ve made a deal with her by the time she’s 16, she’s gonna need a car. And so I said, save up whatever you can. I’m not gonna finance a car for. When that time comes, whatever you have saved, I’ll match it and we will go pay cash for whatever car, and that’s the car that she’s gonna drive.
Mm. And so we kind of look at [00:48:00] these goals and we look at this currency and try to see, okay, what are you working towards? Right? Because for me, like me growing up Yeah. Worked out right. Working all those hours and, and the hard work got instilled in me. I only worked in the fields because that’s what they told me to do.
There wasn’t really an end goal for me. The end goal was that I got new clothes whenever I, whenever school started. And for our, our, our kids were like, Hey, you, we were happy. You don’t have to be in that situation, but you’re also not gonna just sit at home and do nothing all day. Right. Um, for my son, and this is probably, you know, I don’t know.
I don’t wanna say sexist of me, but, so like my son during the summer at 10 years old, he goes to school with me, three to four. He goes to work with me three to four days a week. Mm-hmm. . And so during the summer, I leave the house at six 15. And so he wakes up with me every day and we go to [00:49:00] work and whatever we’re doing that day, if we’re working with our hands or if we’re in meetings, he’s there with.
doing whatever he’s gonna do. Well, you know,
Jonathan: like a really understated, um, like skill that I think men have to have that women and women have to have this too. But I think that comes harder for, for men if you’re not around that is having the confidence to just talk with, with other men Yeah, absolutely.
At a job site or, or whatever and, and having that skill Yeah. Is really, I.
Gabriel: Well, we hope, what I’ve told Alex, and he’s not, like I said, my son is not, he’s not me. And, and I, and I don’t want him to be. Right. And, and as a father, that’s he is, he is like me, but different from you. Right. Obviously. And so what I am hoping to instill him in the next few years is I want my son to learn the things that I know [00:50:00] how to do with my.
So I do feel, and I feel, I feel very strongly about this. I feel like the tradesmen is a dying breed. I don’t know how else to say that nicer, but, so I feel like guys that work with their hands or guys that wanna work with their hands, I’m 34. You know, I feel like once you crest, but below 26, the demographic of people that want inter trade work or work with their hands is very minimal.
Or you have this large demographic of people that want to do like extremely custom things. You know what I mean? Like very niche. Yeah. Custom things. And so my hope is that Mason watches me enough and I’m able to teach him enough trade work that when he gets older, he wants to be a. But I told ’em, I was like, that’s great, but teachers don’t make a lot of money, so you’re probably gonna have to DIY a lot of stuff.
[00:51:00] Yeah. And so, so when we have these conversations, we’re having these very practical conversations of, Hey, it’s not about money, but teachers, unless something changes radically, teachers aren’t gonna make a lot of money. So you need to learn how to do stuff with your hands. And so when I’m fixing something, a.
I mean, I know enough to get me in trouble on electrical, plumbing, sheet rock framing, concrete work, all of the things, right? Yeah. And so that’s what we try to do. And so I’ve told him there’s not a lot of dudes out there that are gonna be his age. There’s not a lot of dudes out there that are your age or even five years younger than you that wanna work with their hands, right?
Mm-hmm. . And I feel like in 20 years time when my son’s. , he’s gonna be able to charge somebody $85 an hour to go out there and float a patch of sheet rock. Yeah. You know what I mean? And so that may not be what he wants to do, but at least he’s gonna have the skills to possess, to be able to provide for himself and or his family at [00:52:00] that time.
Jonathan: You know? Uh, something funny just cuz you said sheet rock one time I was putting, uh, we were adding recess lights into our master bedroom. Yeah. Super fun. Super fun calling through the attic, but I fell through the ceiling. Oh yeah. . And I could not, luckily I had a friend, I was working for a construction company at the time, so I called a painter who was, who came and helped me on the cheap, but Oh my gosh.
Did sheet rock is a skill. Yeah. Especially ceilings. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. And making that look super clean.
Gabriel: Well, and the thing about it is, is like right, exactly what you did. Right. You only gain these skills by doing Right. And I feel like obviously that’s with everything, right? Like I can’t do what you do cause I don’t do it every day.
And that’s not my passion, right? Like what, what Drew can do with a camera, like I wish I could do, you know? But yeah. Not my passion, but y’all do it every [00:53:00] single day. But on the other side of it, like even just walking in an attic, right? Like you would think, oh, I can walk in an attic and not fall through the Sheetrock.
Mm-hmm. and then, You know, you probably had a loose blown insulation attic. Yeah. Thought there was a piece of board there and there wasn’t. And there your foot goes. Yeah. You know, and then your total dad in it, probably up in the attic, like just cussing up a storm or being like, oh man, you know? But yeah, totally man.
It’s little things like that. Like, hey, know how to do this, know how to do that. And I feel like there’s not gonna be a lot of people out there. not, not to say they won’t be able to, but they’re not going to want to possess the skill to do those things,
Jonathan: so. Mm-hmm. and, yeah, and you’re right, it’s a dying breed.
I know there’s tons of, tons of data out there. Oh yeah, absolutely. Expressing that on another skill, though. Real quick to bring up, just related to that, and maybe you can add, I hope you can add into this, was coming down from that attic and being terrified that Kate was gonna be like, you know, yeah, yeah.
Showing Kate that I did [00:54:00] that, but then also needing to. Over exaggerating how bad I was hurt. Yeah. So she wouldn’t be that mad at me for sure. Just the sweet
Gabriel: spot. Or be like, you weren’t up there. You don’t know what it’s like up there. You know what I mean? Like it’s dangerous. Yeah, for sure.
Jonathan: Well, so in closing, what’s your like pro tip?
And I’ve been asking everybody, so if there’s one tip, and I think I know what you’re gonna say, but if there there’s one tip to give out to dad, a young dad specifically, well, what would that.
Gabriel: Uh,
I guess, I mean, I would just say like what we’ve already kind of discussed, so like,
you’re not gonna get it, you’re not gonna get it all right. You know, and you’re not supposed to, you know, nobody is, but I feel like for dads, they just need, I feel like every dad out there, like in me, including. [00:55:00] Just needs to hear like it’s gonna be okay. You know, and, and whether you had a dad, didn’t have a dad or had a great dad, I feel like young dads specifically, they just need to hear like, Hey man, you got this right.
Especially in our economy, in our world, it’s a dangerous place, but just always lead with love, you know, and, and I think that’s what I try to do every single day. I always lead with love in the fact of, man, I probably had a bad day, but my kids probably had a bad day too. Mm-hmm. , my job is to show them that this world’s not gonna be perfect, but that we can love each other through it and, and honestly, like I said, just the honesty policy.
You know, like I mess up, you know, there’s times where you talked about like your parenting style and how that military is militaristic style kind of shows its ugly face sometimes, [00:56:00] and I’m not immune to that. And there’s been times where I’ve taken my nine, you know, at the time, 9, 8, 10 year old daughter, son.
And I’ve sat them down and I’ve said, Hey, I need you to forgive me. Hey, I overreacted when you did this thing. I need you to forgive me because that’s not okay. You know? And, and, um, and I messed up. And I need you to understand that dads can mess up too. And so I feel like just laying that groundwork and honestly just every day, dude, just leading with love and knowing that you don’t have to compare yourself to anybody.
Cause I feel like that’s the other thing, right? We live in a society where, like on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, whatever, I feel like everybody always looks at these pictures like, like, don’t get me wrong. Like me and Alex just took family pictures and everybody’s gonna look at those pictures and be like, oh my gosh, the races have it all together.
How do they have four kids and [00:57:00] a business? And she’s a realtor and they’ve got it all. and dude, I could not tell you enough, like me and Alex are literally flying by the seat of our pants almost every single day. Yep. Mm-hmm. . And, but like in that one moment, right? You looks like we’ve got it all together, but the comparison is extremely deadly.
Thing of like, dude, just talk to another dad. Find a relationship with it. Like vibe with somebody and just be able to say like, Hey dude, here’s what I’m going. Yeah. And if you find, if you find your group, find your guys, then I think that that’s probably the best thing. And uh, the last thing would just be find, and hopefully it’s the mother of your children, right?
But I know that’s not the case for everybody. But find the, your significant other and find somebody that loves you through it as well. So you can’t just lead with love. You also have to be attached. Love people that love [00:58:00] you through it as well. Love you through your shortcomings and all of your, you know, frustrations and, and all of your, your things.
So
Jonathan: yeah, there’s definitely a balance between needing to love you while loving your kids more and understanding that there’s like, there has to be communication. Yeah.
Gabriel: A hundred percent to make that all work. But yeah, that would be my, my, my key man lead with love and don’t compare yourself to others. We are literally all figuring it out.
Like none of us have it all together. Yeah, we just put on a really good fac. So, yeah, we’re just trying really hard. Yeah. . That’s exactly
Jonathan: right. Cool man. Well I appreciate you for coming on. Um, did you try your coffee? Did you
Gabriel: get I tried it, man. Monomyth is great. Yeah. Have you been there? I have, yeah. Cool.
Dope. Well, yeah, shout out Mono myth. Shout out Mono every, anybody needs to go there and grab some coffee? Absolutely,
Jonathan: man. But hey, seriously, thank you so much for, for coming out and, um, I, I learned some stuff about you and I got, I’ve always appreciated our [00:59:00] friendship and like, I know that I’ve always had you to count on, like, if, if there was something, you know, whatever.
I know I could call you. So I, I appreciate you, um, coming out and talking, getting this.
Gabriel: Yeah, no man. Thanks for asking me. This is like the coolest thing I’ve gotten to do in a really long time, so, cool man. Awesome.
Jonathan: Well
Gabriel: cool. Thanks dude. See you guys.